Do you sometimes see teenagers, anguished by peer pressure and unsure of their place in the world, lashing out at their parents? At the one relationship where they are assured of unconditional love…
Do you sometimes see a man, who is a yes-man to bosses, and people pleaser in every social milieu, bully his wife? When she may be the only one with his best interest at heart..
Do you sometimes see a woman, frustrated with feeling diminished in every social setting or by life circumstances, eventually having the good fortune of marrying a nice man… and then becoming an over-imposing and nagging wife?
Why does the teenager not stand up to his bullies? But slams the door in his mother’s face?
Why does the man not tell his boss the pressure is too much, and that he cannot put up with it? Instead he tells his wife he cannot spend time with her, or fulfill any of her wishes.
Why does the woman who doesn’t confront her bullies, become one towards her husband?
Something similar is increasingly seen happening in human bodies as well, unfortunately. Autoimmune diseases (as they are called) arise when the immune system, which is supposed to protect against harmful substances, becomes misguided and begins to attack and destroy the healthy cells in the body.
When it happens in the body, we recognize it as a disease.
I wonder if we realize the same thing about our relationships. People often feel that they ‘survived the tough day at work’.. but did everything end at work? You bring the same person and same body/ mind home..
The stress has flushed your system with ‘flight or fight’ hormones throughout the day. Which you perhaps suppressed. Now that you are home, or with friends, or driving home through a traffic jam, what are those hormones making you do? Now that your guards are down…
Is the traffic becoming a little more annoying than it would otherwise be? Is your friend being 15 minutes late for dinner becoming more difficult to tolerate than your boss’s unreasonable timelines? Is your spouse’s playful ribbing really becoming more hurtful than your competitive colleague’s veiled jealousy?
You may think you have ‘dealt with’ the unpleasant things in your life, but are you simply redirecting your reactions to places where you can afford to react adversely?
Are you attacking your healthy cells?
It may feel safe to begin with, because the healthy parts can tolerate the shocks- whether it is your relationships, health, or personal time that are the healthy cells being compromised. Eventually though, it will only result in a fully compromised body.
Did I invest in my healthy cells today? Did I fight against the harmful substances?
Or did I do the reverse?